Holding Back Time
For many years, I was very self conscious about my age. As a kid and an adolescent, I felt like I was ahead of everyone, but younger than most people in my classes. Lately, I have been feeling like I am older than most people I know - older in age, more experienced - but not old. I think it’s the Bible that says that there’s a time for everything - as much as I believe this is true, I also think that people take it a little too literally and a little too far. I feel like time limits and timing milestones are “noise” in life and that we should get rid of some of those timelines imposed on us by popular culture, and by ourselves.
For example, the timing for a woman to get married is different from one State to another, from one country to another. In general though, when a woman over 40 is not married, well, it is considered just sad or weird. Look at the rumors about Kagan. Why? Because she’s considered too old? Rotten? And should be put aside? Thrown away? This is linked to the popular belief that women who go through menopause are angry and dry and useless. People also believe that men become better with age, while women don’t. I think this is an erroneous perception. I think men go downhill when they turn 50. They have prostate issues, blood pressure, a thickening waistband and seriously receding hairline. Hell, after 35, most men don’t even take care of themselves and are so set in their ways that they become close minded and grumpy when you ask them to do something that is different from their routine. Why would we want to marry THAT?
In a relationship, I often hear my friends say “we’ve seen each other for 2 weeks, so we should do this and that.” Or, “it’s out three month anniversary, so we should be at this stage.” Outside of relationships, the most common thing you hear is; “I am too old to do this.” For me, this is just noise. Why impose limits on ourselves? Because, don’t be fooled, these are all limits and barriers. The third date barrier, the three months barrier, the two day barrier before you call, the age barrier that says it’s too late to start a new activity… why not move forward with your guts? You want to call someone, well then CALL. You want to go to a picnic or meet up with friends with someone you met three days ago, then do it! You want to start learning how to bungee jump? What’s holding you back? Tomorrow’s another day and we could all be blown up by a giant asteroid as far as I know.
Bottom line is, time is what it is. It is only moving forward. You can’t stop it, or “make” it, and there are only 24 hours a day. You just need to “take” it as it goes by and make the most out of it.
Poupak's Parisian Life in New York
