Why It's Important to Me to Be Different
Something I heard tonight from someone I really like and respect in the improv community hurt me a lot. This person that I consider almost a friend (well, we know each other, but it hasn’t been long enough to call it “friendship” but I respect him a lot as a person and an improviser) told me that he never felt different. To be precise, he said he never “suffered” from not being a white dude in his 20s. Just to be clear, he is not. That’s his choice and I will never judge him for that, but personally, as an unusually tall Asian-European woman, I cannot disagree more.
I have been used to thrive on being different, or at least to recognize it over and over again. I have no choice - I have ALWAYS been different. I never denied it, I’ve never negated myself. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. I’m too tall, and too vocal for that. I feel like refusing to acknowledging these differences is the equivalent of the fundamental improv negation - negating who you are. I am not saying you need to yell in people’s face and keep saying “Hey, have you seen me, I’m different.” What I’m saying is that I, for one, have never had a choice - as an Asian-European woman, I AM different. No matter where I go, no mater where I live, no matter what I do.
Today, in my comedy life, it is obvious that my skin color is not the same as most kids who do improv, I am older, and I am a woman. I am not going to negate any of this - it’s a reality I live in, we ALL live in. I will not say that I am comfortable being in class with 11 other dudes (whereas we only have 5 girls in a class of 16 - less than 1/3). I am not going to say that I am comfortable when I go to Harold Night and see mostly dudes on stage, or when I go to the Magnet or the PIT and most performers are men. Hell, I don’t even identify with their references.
Maybe as Will Hines says, there is no difference between the way men are funny, and the way women are funny. But it sure feels like there’s a difference between the way women are viewed in the comedy / improv world and the way men are viewed in this world.
This whole conversation (well, it was a very one sided one because my new friend didn’t want to expand upon it) came from the fact that apparently March is Women History Month (I didn’t know until today), and there are shows out there this weekend where among the many teams performing, there are only a minority of women.
If someone tells me that women are not a minority after this, then it’s not in good faith. We ARE a minority in the world of comedy, even when it’s our time to shine. If we keep ignoring the elephant / 800 lbs gorilla in the room, things will NOT change. So I am putting it out there. Let’s change this. Together. Improv is a community based on support. Who’s with me?